[問題] 一直都蠻無解的問題
我是一個外表看不太出來的TS(自以為= =?)
今年畢業了 生活也空了
那個以念書為理由逃避問題的我也空了
從前忙碌的我終於有了時間停下來思考
其實一直都很努力的在找SRS醫生、聲音的醫生,可是越來越覺得很多現實上的問題需要解決
昨天跟一個一直曖昧很久的男生出去
是我同學,但他不知道我有性別上的困擾,讓我想了很多
其實一直以來都有一個蠻無解的點
就是我其實應該是愛女生的..
嗯,是的,我愛異女,也想愛自己
想照著自己的心走,喜歡外表怎樣就怎樣
有一個一直很喜歡的人,但我們都不可能在一起,因為他喜歡男生
我知道這樣的問題我可能要過一輩子吧,就是無解
最近甚至萌生了想用那個不喜歡的男生身體去換取可能使自己開心的機會
最近看了一部電影-9頂假髮的女孩
因此有在想戴男生假髮,做為一開始的切換
但是是痛苦的呀,因為確定自己很女
心理不是男生
可是真的所有事情都好難,愛情和麵包都是
看著同學一個一個畢業,一個一個有穩定的感情,一個一個年薪百萬,都讓我好難受
一直以來都這麼的努力
努力讓自己開心
努力讓自己變更好
認真念書 認真過生活 可是全都垮了
畢業後心就空了
但 大家不都辛苦的活著嗎?
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